My Crew and Other Animals
by netgirly2k
Summary: Serenity has been in need of a new pilot since Miranda, but as luck would have it Kara's a pretty good pilot. FireflyxBattlestar Galactica 2003 crossover written for the multiverse 2006 challenge. Femslash.


"No, no, no, and what else, oh yeah, no," Mal said as he strode along the gangway to the kitchen, Inara trailing not nearly far enough behind him.

"What are you shooting down now, Cap'n?" Kaylee asked from where she was sitting at the kitchen table with what looked to be most of Serenity's engine spread out in front of her.

"Mal won't let me see clients onboard the ship," Inara answered before Mal had the chance, "even though we came to an agreement when I returned to Serenity."

"Not clients, this client, one. Kaylee do you really think it's a good idea to be spreading engine parts all over the table people might want to be eating off later?"

"Sorry," Kaylee took the not exactly subtle hint, gathered up all her things and headed for the engine room. Inara waited until she was out of earshot before continuing.

"And what's wrong with this client?" she demanded.

"I ain't having an Alliance soldier on my boat and that's final."

"Lieutenant Thrace isn't a soldier, she's a pilot."

"Is she a fighter pilot?"

"Yes," admitted Inara.

"Then she's a soldier. And how'd you think Zoe will feel about you parading an Alliance pilot all over the place?"

"Zoe will be glad someone on this ship is making some money to keep fuel in the engines and food on that table you indicated we might be eating off in the near future."

Mal sighed; the trouble was Inara was probably right about that, Zoe's pragmatism did sometimes get in the way of a good idealistic rant.

"Besides," Inara changed tack, "you'll be down on Persephone during my appointment, you wouldn't have to speak with her."

"Fine, but I don't want her onboard till I'm already three drinks into a bar on Persephone, and I want her long gone before anyone gets back."

"Thank you, Mal," Inara smiled beatifically and turned and left the kitchen.

Mal slumped down in one of the kitchen chairs and rested his head in his hands. He hated arguing with Inara, he frequently lost and it always left him with a splitting headache.

"Hey, Mal."

"Sir," Jayne and Zoe greeted him as they entered the kitchen from the direction of the bridge. Instead of getting whatever they'd come in for and leaving they pulled up chairs and joined him at the table.

"Not that it ain't nice to be all sittin' here together, but who's running the damn ship?" Mal questioned.

"We need a pilot," Jayne said, ignoring Mal's question.

"River's doin' fine," Mal countered.

"Girl's got a feel for flying don't get me wrong," Zoe said, "She gets us from A to B alright. But what if we needed some fancy flying to get away from someone fast?"

"Like who, Alliance's got bigger problems than chasing down little old us"

"Reavers are still out there," Jayne said, trying to suppress a shudder.

"There's them that's out to take the Alliance's place," Zoe said.

"If we get in a scrape anyone of us can fly," Mal argued.

"Sir, if we get into a scrape then all of us will have things to do other than babysit River," Mal was surprised that it was Zoe fighting this hard for a new pilot.

"Fine, we'll ask on Persephone about taking a pilot on a couple of runs to train River up, pay them in transport. We can't afford to be takin' on new crew."

Jayne grunted an acknowledgement and Zoe offered a 'Thank you, sir,' as they got up to leave.

"Zoe?"

"Captain," she stopped in the doorway.

"We ain't replacing Wash; I don't want you thinking that."

"Won't ever be a replacement for Wash," Zoe said darkly, then she forced a wane smile, "but we do need a new pilot."

---

Mal looked down at the Alliance Viper currently taking up most of his cargo bay and heard the metal barrier he was gripping creak he was holding on so tight. It had been all well and good planning to be pleasantly drunk on Persephone before Inara's client showed her face but then Kaylee had decided she wanted to come, and if Kaylee was coming Simon was coming, and if Simon was coming then River was coming as well. Then Zoe got caught by a wave from a contact on Whitefall and Jayne couldn't decide what kind of ammo he wanted to bring. And before Mal could yell at everyone to get a gorram move on there was a Viper on his boat and a blonde girl in all her Alliance finest was standing before Inara as the companion performed some long winded greeting thingamajiggy.

"They're sweet, dontcha think?" Kaylee asked skipping up next to Mal.

"No," Mal could think of a number of ways to describe Inara taking the hand of an Alliance pilot who looked too young to have seen any kind of action in the war but who Mal couldn't seem to not hate, but sweet wasn't one of them.

"I'm going down to the mule," Male pushed away from the railing, "anyone not onboard in two minutes can walk into town."

The threat of being left behind encouraged the crew to hustle and in less than a minute everyone had piled into the mule, Kaylee sitting on Simon's lap and River balanced artfully along the back of the seats.

Mal started the engine and looked in the mirror just in time to see the Alliance girl incline her head in a stiff bow to Inara, then reach out and pull the dark companion into an open mouthed and careless kiss, her hand on the back of Inara's neck.

Mal hit the accelerator and the mule shot out into the crowds of Persephone spaceport.

---

"I mean hell, I remember when you couldn't walk into that bar without tripping over pilots looking for work," Jayne complained.

"Times are changing," Zoe commented, "the Alliance is pulling back to the central planets. It's not as risky to engage in extra legal activities."

Mal swung the mule around and into Serenity, he was about to comment on their total lack of ability to acquire a new pilot, or any paying jobs, when he saw the imposing black of the Viper parked exactly where it had been when they'd left. He slammed on the brakes and was up and out of the mule before it had come to a full stop, Kaylee's cries to wait and Jayne's whoops of encouragement echoing behind him.

Mal jumped up the stairs three at a time and slammed open the hatch to Inara's shuttle, relishing the sound of metal hitting metal. He stormed towards the main chamber, not caring if he interrupted Inara in the middle of whatever debauchery it was that a companion would get up to with an Alliance pilot. He barged into the room Inara used as her bedroom and was only momentarily surprised to see that Inara was fully dressed and lighting candles on the opposite side of the room from the bed where the Alliance girl was sitting with her elbows on her knees and her uniform jacket only partly unfastened.

"When I bought my own boat for some reason I thought that being captain would mean that I'd give an order and it'd be followed, can't imagine what I was thinking."

"Mal," Inara interrupted, turning to face him and smoothing down the front of her silk dress.

"No, before I left I made it clear, or at least I thought I did, that I wanted her," he jerked his head towards the bed, "and her piece of alliance_ luh-suh_ off my boat before I had to look at them."

The Alliance girl stood, she was small, about Inara's height, but her posture stank of attitude. Inara had moved swiftly across the room, positioning herself between them.

"Kara, this is Mal Reynolds captain of Serenity, he isn't usually this rude to our guests, well, no, he is. Mal, this is Kara Thrace, formerly a lieutenant on the cruiser Pegasus."

"Formerly?"

"She wants to leave," Inara said.

"I'm deserting," Kara said, much more bluntly.

"And best of luck with that," Mal said.

"Mal," Inara said softly, "why did we go to Signal, why were you so desperate for people to know the truth about Miranda?"

"People should see the Alliance for what they are."

"Well she has," Inara wrapped her fingers around Kara's wrist and some of the obvious tension left the blonde.

"There a reason you can't go back and tell your superiors that you've seen the light?" Mal met Kara's defiant gaze.

"It's difficult to enjoy making a point from the inside of the brig."

Mal smiled tightly, "You're a pilot?"

"Best in they system," Kara answered, Mal doubted that but it wasn't like he was in a position to be knocking people back.

"Then you're in luck, we happen to have a girl pilot who needs a little training up, you take her under your wing and you can stay onboard until you get sorted. We gotta galley for meals, if you can't cook, learn. I ain't giving you bunk space on my boat but you can sleep on the other shuttle; there may even be a bed in there. One more thing, Alliance comes looking for you or your fancy machinery I will hand you over to them no questions asked, understood?"

Kara rocked on her heels and raised her chin to look Mal in the eyes, looking for a second as if there was nothing she'd like more than to swing for him.

"Understood, sir," she said.

Mal nodded and turned to leave, "Thrace, we ain't the Alliance and we ain't soldiers, don't call me sir."

---

Mal was taking a final walk about the ship before he turned in when he ran into Jayne, this in itself wasn't unusual, Jayne wasn't much for keeping normal hours. What was unusual was that Jayne was crouching silently, the side of his face pressed up to the hatch of Inara's shuttle.

"Jayne, what the hell are you doing?" he demanded, not sure that he wanted to know.

"Shut up," Jayne said without looking up, "Inara and the new girl are getting it on, an' I don't want to miss the good stuff."

Mal could hear muted voices through the hatch but he couldn't make out who they belonged to, he resisted the urge to press his ear to the hull, he wasn't Jayne.

"Inara don't service crew," there was a cry from inside the shuttle, and this time Mal did recognise who it belonged to.

"Sounds like Inara's the one getting serviced," Jayne said, trying to find a way to move his bulk closer to the hull.

"Jayne."

"Yeah, Mal?"

"Leave. Now," Mal had had enough of his orders being ignored for one day and was gratified when Jayne stood and turned to leave. There was a moan from inside that could probably be heard on the nearest moon. Strange, Mal had never thought of Inara as a moaner, not that he ever thought on what Inara sounded like in bed, well not often.

Jayne's leer got wider, something Mal hadn't imagined possible, "sounds like the best parts over."

---

Mal cornered Inara on the stairs between the kitchen and the infirmary.

"I said that your little friend could stay," he said.

"Being in the room at the time, I did notice," Inara looked down at Mal, something that was made easier by her standing three steps above him.

"She's living on my boat, working for me. You're the one who's always banging a drum about not servicing crew."

"You seem very interested in my affairs suddenly?" Inara raised a finely sculpted eyebrow at him.

"I've always found that when a person starts breaking their own rules it's just prior to getting on a very slippery slope is all."

"Well thank you for your concern, but I'm a big girl and am perfectly capable of looking after myself."

"Do as you please," Mal brushed past Inara without looking at her, "ain't like Thrace is proper crew."

"You know Mal, I don't think you mind my sleeping with a member of your crew, you just wish I'd chosen someone else."

"Just keep the noise down in future, I don't want Jayne getting over-stimulated," he called back down.

---

Jayne wasn't lurking outside Inara's shuttle listening to whatever wrong goings on were, well, going on, that vastly improved Mal's day. A day that already included getting under cut on a job by another crew, River having one of her occasional more crazy than usual days. And Kara mouthing off to Zoe in a confrontation that ended with Zoe suggesting that the other woman should be sleeping with one eye open.

There was the loud hiss of a rarely used hatch opening and Kara stepped out of the disused shuttle she was staying in. She had got rid of her Alliance uniform and was now wearing baggy black pants and a grey vest.

"Going somewhere, Thrace?" Mal asked.

Kara's eyes flickered towards the other shuttle, "going to check on a few things on the bridge," she lied.

"Zoe's up there."

"You think I'm going up there to smack down with her?" Kara asked with a sneer.

"I think you were happy enough to earlier."

"Hey, she started that," she answered defensively.

"Zoe's been with me a long while, she lost a lot of people in the war and her husband not long ago. You can't bring yourself to show her some respect then stay out of her way, cause if she decides that she don't want to be on the same boat as you then you'll be looking for somewhere to defect to, clear?"

"Crystal," Kara said, walking away in a direction that was very much not the way to the bridge.

"Knock or something, she don't much appreciate it when you just walk in."

---

Mal had never had much faith in the character of the men Inara took on as clients but to the best of his knowledge this was the first time any of them had ever gotten rough with her.

After ranting for close to an hour on how perhaps she wasn't as fine a judge of character as she thought and if she was going to be shooting arrows into the walls of his shuttle he was going to raise her rent, Mal had grabbed Jayne and Vera and headed into town to give this guy a much needed lesson in respect.

"That the fella that roughed up Inara?" Jayne asked as soon as they'd pushed their way into the bar. The man that Jayne was gesturing at was lying unconscious next to a knocked over table and broken bottle, with blood trickling from an unattractively broken nose.

"Yeah, looks like he pissed off someone else."

"Damn, Mal, look," Mal followed Jayne's look and saw a familiar figure carrying a glass of amber liquid strolling through the bar towards them, she stepped over the unconscious man without looking down.

"Captain, Jayne," Kara greeted, stopping in front of them, a cat that got the canary grin practically splitting her face in two.

"Gorram it girl, you do that?" Jayne asked, swinging Vera up onto his shoulder.

Kara nodded and threw back the contents of her glass, she did well not to grimace. Even Jayne sometimes balked at drinking what passed for alcohol in some of these dives.

"Do me a favour, and don't tell Inara about this. She wanted to handle this herself," Kara handed her empty glass to Jayne, "Gotta get back to the ship, got to plot a course to break atmo."

Jayne gave Kara an appreciative leer as she headed out of the bar, "I really like that girl."

Mal grunted in agreement, as much as he hated to admit it, he no longer hated Kara Thrace.

---

It was a good day on board Serenity, they had their first paying job in months, Zoe and Kara and settled into a sort of quiet mutual dislike and Mal was finally getting his cargo bay back. The Alliance Viper that had been sitting there since Kara had come aboard was finally being stripped down. Kaylee had gone into raptures when she'd seen some of the parts that she could use; Jayne had made a pretty impassioned argument to keep the Vipers weapons onboard, which he'd lost. Everything Kaylee couldn't use was going to be sold off as scrap; it was going to turn a pretty penny as well. Say what you like about the Alliance, and Mal could say quite a bit, they didn't cut corners when it came to materials for their ships.

"You okay with this?" Mal asked, leaning against the railing next to Kara who was looking down at her partially dismantled Viper.

"Any reason I wouldn't be?" she said without looking at him.

"It was your ship."

"No, back when I was flying it, it was my ship. Once I came here it was an oversized ornament."

"Well good, cause I don't need you distracted for this job."

"Yeah, cause it takes a lot of focus to park the ship and sit and wait," Kara answered.

"Not today, Jayne drank a bad batch of home brew and most of his insides are makin' their way outside. I need an extra gun hand, grab your weapon."

"Seriously?" Kara called after him as he made his way down to Kaylee and Zoe.

"Seriously, move, we ain't got all day."

---

"Doctor! Get down here," Mal demanded as he and Zoe dragged Kara's limp body up the ramp onto Serenity.

"What happened?" Simon asked rushing down to them, Kaylee hot on his heels.

"She took a bullet," Mal answered, passing some of Kara's weight off to the doctor.

"One that was meant for me," Zoe said in a monotone. Zoe's clothes and hands were stained blood red, Mal knew his were too.

"Help me get her up to the infirmary," Simon said

"Kara! Mal, what happened?" Inara stepped out of her shuttle and dashed towards them, the trail of her dress whipping behind her.

"Kaylee," Mal ordered quietly. The mechanic stopped and intercepted Inara.

"Hey, I'm sure she's gonna be okay, Simon will take good care of her. We should stay of his way and let him work.

Mal heard Inara arguing with Kaylee as he manoeuvred Kara's unresponsive body towards the infirmary, she sounded scared like he hadn't heard her since Reaver space.

"I'll take it from here," Simon said, pushing him and Zoe out of the infirmary and setting to work. Mal had always thought Kara could do with a few good days work on a ranch, with her pale skin and straw coloured hair she'd always had a look about her that bordered on the unhealthy. But now with blood splattered over her chest and neck and her lips turning grey she looked positively sickly.

"It wasn't your fault," Mal said, turning to Zoe.

"Of course it wasn't," Zoe replied tersely, but she wasn't looking at Mal she was staring into the infirmary at Kara's pale face.

"What was she thinking pushing me out of the way like that? Idiot girl," Zoe whispered the insult.

"I should go and talk to Inara, you come get me if she- Come get me if anything changes."

"Yes sir," Zoe didn't take her eyes from the infirmary bed as Mal walked away.

---

Mal knocked lightly on the side of Inara's shuttle as he walked in. Inara was kneeling in front of a row on candles with her back to him.

"You praying?" he walked up and crouched behind her.

"What else do you suggest I do, I'm not a doctor," Inara said her voice heavy and cracking.

"She ain't the first to be shot on Serenity, won't be the last."

"Is that supposed to make me feel better?" Inara asked, turning to face Mal, her eyes wet with tears and her face streaked with dark makeup.

"I'm just saying, Doctor's had plenty of practice at patching up gunshot wounds, c'mon," Mal wrapped his arm around Inara and helped her to her feet.

"There was so much blood…" Inara said, breathing deeply trying to maintain what was left of her self control.

Mal led her over to the bed and sat next to her, "I've seen a lot of these, that don't necessarily mean anything."

He got his first good look at the object Inara was clutching in her hands, he could see now that what he'd originally thought to be beads were in fact metal tags on a chain. He leaned over and placed his hand over Inara's, she let the tags fall from her grasp, Mal picked them up and had a look.

'Lt. Kara Thrace. _Starbuck_.' they read.

"What does Starbuck mean?" Mal asked.

"I don't know," Inara said, distressed, "I always meant to ask but…"

She leaned over and took the dog tags back from Mal, he didn't resist, "She wanted to throw these away after she came to Serenity, I don't know why I kept them."

"I had a woman during the war," Mal said quietly, "a fine woman, stood for everything I thought I was fighting for."

"What happened to her?" Inara sniffed.

"She wouldn't have cried over my dog tags," Mal answered simply.

Inara looked to him and opened her mouth to say something but before she could Kaylee clattered onboard the shuttle.

"Inara! Simon says Kara's going to be okay. Oh hey, Cap'n," she said as an afterthought, just noticing Mal.

Inara let go a little gasp of relief and wiped the sleeve of her fancy dress across her face, smearing it with tears, damp makeup and sniffles. That was how you could tell Inara had been sick with worry; she usually treated her finery with more respect than that.

"What else did Simon say?" Mal asked, seeing that Inara was in no state to.

"Oh, that the bullet hadn't hit any organs, that she'd lost a lot of blood but he could replace it and that she should wake up tomorrow."

"Oh, thank God," Inara breathed, "Thank Simon for me, would you Kaylee."

"Course," Kaylee beamed and headed out of the shuttle.

Mal stood and wiped his palms on his pants leg, "well, I'd better be going too."

He stopped in the hatch, debating asking the question that had been playing on his mind since that first night he'd found Jayne eavesdropping on them. Now or never he reasoned.

"Why are you with her?"

"Mal," Inara began to brush the question off.

"No really, I want to know."

Inara sighed, standing and smoothing down her dress, "everything changed after Miranda."

"It changed for all of us, not just you," he shot back.

"And I needed to be with someone who wasn't there," Inara shot back.

"That's all, cause it's a big verse and most of it weren't there."

"She doesn't care that I'm a companion, Mal. It just doesn't matter to her."

"Yeah," Mal said, there was more finality in that one word than there had been in all the goodbyes when Inara had left Serenity.

---

Mal looked at Inara and Kara through the Infirmary glass. Kara was sitting up and looking decidedly less dead that she had a few days ago. Inara was sitting next to her, talking and stroking her hand, Kara laughed at something Inara said and the companion leaned in to kiss her.

"Weird couple," Jayne commented from where he was standing to Mal's left.

"Yeah, but those are the best kind," Zoe said from his other side.

Relations between Zoe and Kara had warmed up considerably, Zoe had gone into see her not long after she'd woken up and Mal had caught his first mate actually smiling at the pilot, and not in a I'm waiting for the right moment to stab you in the back type way.

"You're all insane," Jayne said, turning and walking away.

"Zoe, what do you say to asking Thrace to stay on permanent? Just to take the pressure off River, ain't fair expecting her to be pilot full time at her age."

"For River's sake, Sir." Zoe conceded with a hint of a smile.

---

Everyone on the bridge breathed a sigh of relief as Kara hit full burn and they shot away from the pirate ship that had fancied relieving Serenity of her payload. Amateurs, thought Mal, he'd been running contraband past the Alliance while most of these new captains had still been playing in the sand.

"Good work," he said, getting up to leave the bridge and almost walking into Inara on her way in.

"Excuse me," she said, "Kara, if you're finished there is a problem with the navigational controls on the shuttle I'd like you to look at."

Kara un-strapped herself and bolted out of the pilots chair as if it was on fire, "River, take over, would you," she darted from the bridge with that cheese eating grin Mal was getting used to seeing on her firmly in place. Inara followed at a pace just slow enough to be dignified.

"How come beautiful women never come and drag me off the bridge when I'm flying the ship?" he mused.

"Perhaps you aren't doing it right, sir," Zoe commented wryly.

---

Walking into the kitchen Mal resisted the urge to turn right back round and leave, there were a number of things a man didn't need to see before breakfast and this was one of them. Kara had Inara pressed up against the kitchen counter and was kissing her quite thoroughly, Inara was wearing white pants with a number of fancy jewels stitched into them and a silk top that stopped just beneath her breasts, Inara's way of dressing casual, her hands were fluttering over the skin between Kara's pants and vest.

"Thrace, we keeping the tea in the back of Inara's throat now?" he called.

"I don't know, Captain, I could look," Kara answered, both women stepped away allowing Mal to set some water to boil and fetch some tea from the cupboard.

Simon and Kaylee were sitting at the kitchen table, Simon was holding a piece of fruit up to Kaylee's lips and pulling it away just as she went to take a bite from it. Jayne and Zoe were sitting at the far side of the room discussing whether their next job would necessitate killing anybody and River was staring intently at the pattern on the rug.

Mal poured the boiled water into the tea, "Thrace, River, will at least one of you go and fly the ship, Kaylee, engine was making a strange noise all night, see to it, Zoe, check the cargo's locked down, Jayne, get together some weaponry in case this job goes south, Doctor, go do doctor things." Mal paused for breath, "and Inara, go trawl for trade or whatever it is you do all day. Go."

His crew left the kitchen at speeds that varied between a scurry and a stroll. River stopped by his elbow.

"You like it," she said in that ageless voice of hers.

"Like what, little one?"

"People in love."

"Go, do a job," he ordered, and River drifted away towards the bridge. Mal took a sip of tea and thought about the truth in what River said. He may not like Simon and Kaylee feeding things to each other, he may not be happy with Zoe's new way of finding inner peace through killing people. And he may never understand what the hell was going on with Inara and Kara, but there's something about having a happy crew that makes for a peaceable ship and a happy captain.


End file.
